If I Was A Man

Best of the Net nominee 2014:

Melancholy Hyperbole

Listen: https://soundcloud.com/melancholyhyperbole/if-i-was-a-man

If there’s one thing you can’t lose
It’s that Feel

-Tom Waits

If I was a man, I’d write about how the bottle
is my left hand, because my right is busy –
I’ve known so many girls
and while the names are different,
to me their faces are all the same,
hazy, open-mouthed, and six inches from my face.

I’d write about my testicles like they’re some sort of cancer,
sorry Baby, the treatment is to move on.
I’d write about my testicles like they’re crazy ex-lovers,
sorry Baby, they’re something you can’t deny.
I’d write about them, I’d sing about them, preach about them
until the bourbon and the lyrics made my voice raw like Tom Waits.
And then I’d sing you a sweet love song
with all the pain of the world,
I lost you of my own manly ill, sorry Baby, sorry Baby,

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